Disengagement

A theory that was current in gerontology when I was a young man teaching that course was the theory of disengagement which was not really a theory but only a single proposition rather than the linking of a number of propositions, but never mind that. The proposition was that people as they got older disengaged from their social affiliations and so became more isolated from one another staying in their own rooms or houses, people dying off around them, and withdrawing from friends still living. People shrunk from their social contacts in preparation for death. That does not seem to me an accurate picture of what old age is like, now that I am there from the inside, while other findings at the time, such as that old people are often thought to be losing their mental acuity when all that is happening is that they are becoming hard of hearing, a point which is something to which I can attest, though that might have been a geriatrics insight rather than a gerontological one.

It does not seem to me that old people disengage, even though, obviously, some of their friends and spouses die and people retire from their vocations. But many  oldsters stay at work for as long as possible and retire into alternative occupations without remuneration so as to keep active. Oldsters keep touch with old friends and cultivate people of the younger generation and engage in the same things they did while young, which for me was keeping up with politics and movies. Old buddies are precious because they share a point of view and their bygone experiences and are also because they are associated with those people who have died. Oldsters are not just waiting in the vestibule of death.

But there is something deeper that lurks behind the specter of disengagement that explains better what it is to be an old person. People shed their grieve]nces as they get older perhaps because under the light of eternity it is just not worth holding a grudge or because the  oldster is no longer in the battles that made grievances meaningful, such as a battle over academic prestige or who will run the corporation, thinking someone else acted unfairly and got the slot you wanted. Old people can accomplish a little bit of serenity because, after all, the  winner in life is not the one who has the most toys, but the one who lasts longest while remaining comfortable, because you will no longer have any trinkets of wealth, power and prestige once you are as dead as a doornail even if the Egyptians and other religionists thought and think otherwise, grievances as well as successes reaching into the afterlife because that is iust what happens, is the substance of living life. So people disengage from their bad feelings and only that though not everyone takes advantage of being so liberated.

Shedding grievances is included in religion because it is part of human experience. Bill Murray in that very wise movie “Groundhog Day” says that God may just be a very old person who has seen everything. Like an old person, He gives past grievances because the grievances no longer matter. That is different from the Christian view that elevates shedding grievances into a doctrine of forgiveness, which is to erase past grievances as if they didn’t happen and, indeed, take it as a virtue to abolish the past so that you are a better person for forgiving your trespassers even though it is obviously impossible to erase away a murder or a hurting insult, just find a way to go past it. Indeed, God in the Christian view, does the sublime event of forgiving mankind for its original sin by having His own Son suffer for mankind’s deeds, becoming, as in the story of Abraham and Isaac, the scapegoat for mankind, as if Jesus whatever they were, which might be a tendency to perverseness, which is hardly the most ultimate flaw, and Jesus suffered just a whit, three days in a tomb, for redeeming all of mankind. A mighty cheap bargain.

Think rather of every old person having a magic wand whereby the person  can change the world by changing an attitude and so transform  other people and oneself into being fully human by forgoing their grievances. And why not? Old people are also free because if they are run over by a truck they can think the pain wouldn’t last long and they have anyway lived out the vast majority of their lives. Old people are therefore invincible even if they are fragile. Nothing much can happen to them and so shedding grievances is a minor part of the situation of being old. Every day is a joy and a vacation.

That doesn’t mean to be aimless. You can still write a book or be nice to people. But those are added virtues rather than what have  been the burdens of your identity, what shaped you and what you know to have characterized you. It is all now gratis, a gift more precious than Jesus could offer because Jesus was compelled by his Father to do that.

Make use of this liberation while being old with regard to people in the midst of their lives, full of struggles and things to lose and matters about which to grieve. As an adult, you can be kinder to others, be only moderately competitive, and just neglect the small stuff. Enjoy the breeze while the  kids are in the playground. That is not asking people to be saints, which are singular accomplishments of rectitude, but simply the pleasures available to ordinary life. All people want to be pleasant except for those few who want to be mean and even those who are mean find an excuse for being so or regarding themselves and not really mean, though only a lover can appreciate that. That is what David Hume thought and that is contrary to the Christian view which is, deep down, people are just louses, cockroaches, meanies. What can a belief in original sin otherwise mean? 

Not that old age is a long set of epiphanies. You are busy managing your pills and being sure not to eat what will upset your delicate digestion. You need not have gone beyond ambition or anger, but those qualities seem to have been stoked. But you can look at the vast expanse of human creation and sometimes say “This is good ''.

Two Sisters

Shedding and acquiring guilt with regard to the Holocaust and other historical and ordinary problems.

My mother, originally known as Manya Demba, later Mary, grew up in Czenstochowa, Poland, a cathedral town close to the German border and famous for the shrine of the Black Madonna. She in later years told me that Easter Sunday was when youths would raid the Jewish ghetto and beat up people. My mother worked at a handbag company, never having gone past the sixth grade, while her sister, later anglicized as “Rae”, was a nanny and so got extra food and clothing from her employer. But war was impending. They had been through the Munich Crisis. Polish troops had been mobilized and my mother remembered the hypnotic power of Hitler on the radio, which she could well enough understand because of her Yiddish. (She later said that English was difficult to learn because its letters did not easily convey the sounds and meanings of the language while Polish was transparent, its letters indicating what was said). My mother planned to immigrate to Palestine and was learning Hebrew and Jewish history in preparation for that when a rich relative who had prospered as a baker in  America, much more so than his three brothers who had gone to America also as bakers a generation before, came to visit Czenstochowa, partly to provide money and also, I am inclined to think, to gloat a bit about his prosperity. He offered to sponsor the two young women, my mother and one of her sisters, Rae, to come to the United States by paying the fare and guaranteeing they would not be destitute, giving them food and housing, and so akin to the wards who populate nineteenth century English novels. The two girls decided to do that and departed on the luxury ship “Batory” in May of 1939, reportedly the last Polish ship to leave Poland before the war, my mother insisting in later years that boys took her dancing on the higher class decks while her sister was seasick. That was the most courageous thing the two sisters ever did, however many were the people who immigrated from Europe to America, never again to see the families from which they had departed. Most of her own relatives, including a number of sisters, were killed in the concentration camps after the war began.

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Reality as Experience

Trust what you can remember.

There are deep structures in existence, like consciousness or the reality of the external world, that are thought to be philosophical or metaphysical or even just conceptual that in fact can be reduced to generalizations or inferences that people draw from experience rather than as inevitable or inherent. The evidence comes from consulting the experience of early age children as to establish what they themselves are able to find and what can be found about them even without the advantages supposedly offered by psychoanalysis about how the early child’s mind can be accessed. I am thinking of my commonplace observations of what Im remember before I was four about things I now know as having already been discovered in the world. I remember, for one thing, learning to drink from a glass rather than from a bottle. I had been a late learner and my mothers ruse, as I realized it to be many years later, was to say that she could not get down to the village to buy bottles and so I would have to cope by using a glass to drink milk. An accommodating sort, I said I would do that if I drank from a glass in private and she acquiesced and we went into a private space and I drank from a glass and never went back to bottles. Think about that. I already had the ability to feel embarrassed about making what seemed a major transition and I was able to negotiate  the terms of my acquiescence. 

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Burying the Past

What does it mean to bury the past? It is like burying the dead, which means not just acknowledging the fact as in “Gilgamesh” where the hero sees bugs coming out of his dead friend’s nose, but having come to terms with it, funeral rites a very ancient form of ritual perhaps to acknowledge that people have to be accepted as really dead because they visit us as ghosts and memories, no one really dead until Aldous Huxley replaces rituals with allowing factories to recover and recycle chemical remains. Then dead people are really dead because people now actually dead people really are. Similarly, burying the past is to do more than acknowledge that past times are over, whether the Romantic Age or hula hoops or JFK, but have come to terms with that fact, moving on or not with that sensibility. People can do that. It is possible for consciousness to transform dead people and past situations to become established as in the past. Here are some ways by which to wrestle with the past so that it is over.

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Experiences Without Meaning

Snapple, storefronts and silences

The Existentialists from the Forties and the Fifties were out to explore the exotic so as to establish bedrock reality, what was really the human condition. So they looked at the stranger, that man without familial feeling, to show that people were truly alienated. And Sartre saw people who saw gnarled, hideous and frightening trees as looking at the world bare and maybe mad for having looked at nature without its Kantian categories. Twenty years later, Erving Goffman envisioned people as always only performing, their roles used to provide the impression that people managed their lives well, and so neglecting motives of love or loyalty, people just pulling their own marionette strings and so life reflected the Absurdist theater of the previous decade after all. I want to try a different approach. It is the most ordinary and familiar aspects of life that reveal or amount to the human condition, it is just difficult to objectify the obvious even if it is the substance of life, not the abstracted things like justice and God. Politics is just organized suasion, full of bombast and anger. Life is feeling yourself as breathing because without its familiarity you are dead and what could it possibly mean for a person to be alive if they do not experience breathing however much you try to think of metaphors that concern angels walking amid the clouds, in which case they would be breathing, wouldn’t they?

This approach is different from the usual oner whereby profound things are appreciated and explained by consulting the most complex and crafted form of art and literature, going deep into how Goya and Van Gogh and Balzac and Melville reshape our lives by creating objects skewed from what life is thought to be and thence trying to make sense of the discrepancies. In that cased, people engage life with self-consciousness so as to hone a sense of reality. The other path, as it is based on the wisdom of sociology, is that most of life is not filled with self consciousness but with ordinary perceptions and feelings and so free of these higher things, life crowded with the ordinary and so free of the burdens of being enlightened however enlightenment is the necessary task that allows life to be ordinary. And so we shall precede.

 

Here is an easy example of how an experience has little meaning but is just familiar and therefore part of the human condition even though it is superficial and artificial. Snapple is a soft drink which has a distinctive flavor that combines tea and peach and water and is chilled. The experience is taste and a feeling of cold liquid going into your innards and it satisfies thirst, none of these providing meaning but satisfying pleasure. The ingestion of cold liquids nowadays is quite general,and  habitual. For a hundred and fifty years soft drinks depend on refrigeration and the invention of Coca Cola as a particularly tasteful drink. Preceding that there were stimulants, like tea and coffee and chocolate, often because of the use of sugar, and is dated because it was possible earlier to heat rather than to cool and goes back a thousand years. Previous even to that are alcoholic and other potentially addictive liquids. It is curious that the more powerful liquids are by and large given in smaller portions, a cup of coffee smaller than a bottle of Snapple and a bottle of scotch having many portions that would lead to inebriation. Even smaller doses are used for narcotic addiction, so small as to be administered with injection or pills.The exception is that beer is a bigger dose than snapple. It is measured in a pint or a stein, perhaps because beer is such an ancient invention that more efficient doses had not been developed. The fact of the matter is that these ingestive habits are familiar and universal and so allow people to think of these as natural, their way to be, even if they do not convey anything of significance. The same is true with chocolate chip cookies and ketchup.What would life be like without these pleasures? 


Stacks of cartons and cans and bottles of soft drinks are stocked in supermarkets. They are so abundant in their variety that a consumer has to be aware of a choice whether to get sugared or nocal or iced teas or lightly flavored waters or just plain water. The consumer can think that consumer choice is a kind of democracy because the consumer is sovereign, each product advertised for its wares and successful only if the consumer prefers which product to buy. But that is misleading in that the decision to buy is merely a preference, of no significance other than to one’s own taste and the company’s bottom line unless there is, let us say, there is a boycott on South African wine during apartheid or because there is a movement to restrict sugar as a bad health thing. That is different from voting, where there is always a moral dimension so that choosing a candidate who will cut your taxes is a choice to think only of economic self interest and whether abortion is an issue worth thinking about and choosing what is a moral decision. Voting is never morally neutral while prteferring Snapple to Coke always is unless, letg us say, the prtoprietgor of some product is morally egregious and one refuses to buy from Hobby Lobby or a baker who won’t buy from gays who are about to marry. Legal issues about the neutrality of consumership arise.


Now here it gets tricky. Is there a difference with regard to consciousness between a preference and a moral dilemma, each considered on their own, or when the two are compared? Both of those analyses, the separate and the compared, are generalizations of facts, and so can be considered what we might call “raw empiricism”, people noticing the choices they make as moral or not and also whether to prefer moral to preferential or not, while the other view is that it is quite different to consider comparing preference versus morality rather than Snapple rather than Coke. Persons just engaged with a preference are aware of what they  are doing. To think otherwise is to be a robot or a lower form of animal. But comparing or deciding whether morality plays a role or not requires self consciousness rather than just awareness because perhaps it posits referring to concepts outside the empirical world, people enshrouded with invisible categories, as in the case of Kant, which make these decisions meaningful rather than just experiences of which one is aware. We have to, as the expression goes, “step back” in order to consider such categories, not only ordinary preferences, however much it may be to be rational in choosing one soft drink because of its taste or advertising slogan. So that is a way to say that a soft drink beverage choice is an experience but does not have meaning because it has no reverberations with a high level concept.


Here is another ordinary feature of life which can elaborate the idea that much of lifer is rational in that it is fully aware without being self-aware, which means inverted with meaning. I am thinking of storefronts, which are retail businesses which may not be as old as the cavemen, but are available for millenia, even if one stall is separated from one another by a cloth or nothing at all so as to buy or sell goods, like flour or rice, or services, like barbers and hairstylists, to a consumership in enough number that people will cross their thresholds to buy out of pickle barrels or stacks of dry goods. There are storefronts in Near Eastern bazaars way back and a small town on the American Western frontier had a general store and Jim Bridger had a fort back in the wilderness where he bought furs and sold general supplies to the indians and the other mountaineers that passed his way in Oregon. The storekeeper is invented but ubiquitous, opening up as soon as a battle ens so as to provide staples and disposables as soon as a supply customer to arrive in the slow midday hours, his shelves stocked with bottles, separating wines from liquors and scotches from gins and brandies,  chain is established, even among the rabble. Storefronts survived in London during the Blitz, so resilient is that form of enterprise.


I notice how similar to one another are storefronts to one another of a similar type. I remember in my youth a liquor store proprietor who had trained to be a lawyer who had fallen into this business waiting for a customer to come across the threshold during the slow midmorning hours, the bottles all lined up on the shelves, wines separated from liquors and gins and brandies separated from brandies. A liquor store was considered a clean business in that all you had to do was unpack boxes of shipments, while there was a lot of cleaning up that had ro be done in produced and dairy stores, so much to be trimmed or refreshed or made waste, so long as a liquor store needed a considerable initial capital to stock its wares. After that, it was easy sailing, except how to judge who to give credit to and how to turn away drunks or potential thieves out to get the register’s abundant cash. Liquor stores don’t look very different: filled with open boxes of bottles and special sale items, whether the liquor store is a sole proprietor or a state liquor authority. Consumables of small quantities are also ubiquitous and subject to state regulation.


On the other hand, some storefronts come and go.  There was a rage for ten or twenty years for storefronts that rented tapes of movies that could be played on home VCRs. It took little capital to start them up, only rent and inventory where people went in because, as I gathered, they hadn’t made much of something else. There were also larger stores in the Blackbuster franchise which also sold popcorn and movie candy but did not have any more variety of movies to offer than the smaller ones which carried recent releases rather than “classics'', which meant black and white movies from the Forties. All bit the dust when movies become available on cable and then by streaming, just as late night network movies had given way to talk shows. I remember “The Late Show” and “The Late Late Show” that made Patsy Kelly, the one with her distinctive nasal voice, a star to me.


The thing about storefronts is how much they come and go, much more frequently than the buildings where the storefronts were placed on their street entrances, at least on the Upper West Side of Manhattan where I lived for many years. I would know which pizza parlor shut down and which barber shop,m a breed that seemed to me ever to diminish. For a while, every block had another bank branch, maybe because people like branches close by because the services available are all pretty much the same. It was difficult, however, to create big supermarkets for a while because it was too expensive to get a large enough space until places like specialty shops, gourmet places like Citerella, were sufficiently capitalized. I would measure out the changing storefronts over the course of my years there. Remember when a particular chinese restaurant to which I took my kids closed down? Kids in Manhattan all learn chopsticks early.


And so to the theme. Store fronts are an ordinary occurrence and people can appreciate the different types. You know not to buy meat at a haberdashery store (also now extinct or very rare, included in sports goods clothing stores. That is a reasonable inference, a raw empirical observation , an experience of everyday life. But there is also an outside and abstract concept which turns storefronts into being a matter of self awareness and possibly deep contemplation. That, as I have already suggested, is the idea of time, a category so abstracted by Kant so as to rid it of its everyday experience as a change in the material settings whose alterations show change in time. Who and when was Ebbets Field demolished so as to be replaced by a housing project? This event or the memory of it displaces a person from a time to being “above” or “beyond” time and that makes you like God, however fragile might be your earthly existence. Think of emptied storefronts or even those in reconstruction, new fixtures put in  place as old ones are carried out even if ones that had elaborate plumbing was retained or altered so that a restaurant would probably be retained as a restaurant, a video store becoming anything, like a shoemaker because all you have to do is bring in the equipment, even if shoemakers are dying out because cloth sneakers replace leather and people prefer to replace rather than repair. We savor time in changing storefronts.


A perfectly ordinary experience that can give people comfort is listening to, as the phrase has it, “the sound of silence”, which is an oxymoronic if accurate observation, though you can make it odd and even eerie by giving it an Existentialist edge, making it strange that the absence of something is there. You lie in bed and your breathing slows down to barely if anything is being heard, not even a heartbeat. There are no cicadas or wind or fire engines rushing down West End Avenue or a soft rain that can lull you to sleep. It's so quiet that you sense silence as a wave of it, one after the other assaulting us because it insults us not to be otherwise, to be like music and so having rhythm and tone. And you edge into self consciousness as you contemplate the profundity of the thing, associated with sleep, another ordinary experience, erven as sleep is hardly silent, filled with dreams screaming to have their sexual and other dreams announcing their insights with startling invention and clarity, as when I dreamed how old my young wife would look forty years late and she did. Self-consciousness arrives, develops, out of making comparisons, just as in “Sesame Street”, one thing like  or different from another, though the decisive event is even earlier when a terrible two year old recognizes the power of “no!”, negation particularly a way to process thought by both Marxists and Existentialists. 


The thing about silence is that you don’t really hear them unless you are deaf. Otherwise, silence is an “ideal” almost always violated so that listening to silence is not literally true and such an assertion is a “no!” to silence and so makes it a metaphysical assertion or, more modestly, a concept that denies what overwhelmingly is and that mediates the experience of silence so that it helps self-consciousness to arise in that it generates the idea of possible events rather than just things that have happened, which is the bugaboo of positivists who only examine what has happened, as if there could not be representative democracies before any had been constructed, where people said it only happened in small nations until the United States invented itself and so made itself possible. That is worthy of the heavy burden of being self-conscious even if it is very difficult to define what the term means in that a director looking through  a camera lens is self aware of what he or she is seeing but the looking through the lens isn’t what does it but the mind of the director does and so the best that can be said is that Snapple, storefronts and silence leverage minds to become self conscious rather than constitute that.


The program in this and many of my essays is the Pragmatist one of eliminating philosophical words as either meaningless or to be reduced to simple empirical facts. That is different from regarding philosophy as a set of universal invisible terms that are inherent in existence and cannot be done without like justice or cause and effect, the first of which can be done without to explain social life and the second can be substituted with “context”, which means the conditions under which things happen. Pragmatism is also different from the idea that most people are expert enough to clarify these essential terms but rely on  custom and expertise to do the work for them when in fact people can provide a perfectly adequate explanation of their situation and the Entire Situation by referring ton facts, including experience. People are more enlightened, become freer, by getting rid of their philosophical baggage.


That is the case in the examples provided. People can do much to avoid moral terms if you treat much of it as preferences to kinds of soft drinks. Time, such a formidable concept, is reduced to changing storefronts and negation, that deeply profound matter, is reduced to noticing that silence is not absolute. All these are matters of everyday lifer and only because there is philosophy, which arises out of self-consciousness, is it possible to retain self-consciousness because of being rid of philosophy.

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Human Warmth

I want to use literal human warmth, which is what happens when a person sits near a fire or wears a quilted coat, as a way to understand metaphorical human warmth, which is associated with friendship and community, so as to be more precise about the metaphorical and other meanings.

Everyone knows what it is like to get warm or feel deprived of warmth even if you have not  experienced the lack of warmth in a bombed out building in winter in  Ukraine or the shambles of earthquake damage in Turkey and Syria in wintertime. You know what it is to get under the covers and warm up, quickly enough and deliciously, mostly by capturing your own heat.There is something delicious in that experiencing the warmth overcoming the cold until you reach a point when you feel fully warm and languorous as a result of it, what seem to be the waves of warmth invigorating the person within that enclosure, knowing that intellectually just inches away the temperature is still cold, a person reassuring himself that there are no gaps in the cocoon whereby warmth might lek out. This is an experience as old as the cavemen or older, to primates who shivered and knew they shivered before fire had been controlled and so became a metaphor for wellbeing.

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The Fanciful and the Real

Here is something deep about all literature, whatever their formats or genres, whether opera or novels or poems or plays or whether comedy, tragedy or melodrama. All such works are either fanciful, in which case there is a fantastical story, full of implausibility and wonder and exaggerated figures, whereby an audience tries to find in that material and structure something that illuminates real life, as is the case when an Ovid myth is reread to let the reader understand that is about normal human emotions, as when Narcissus is preoccupied with himself, as any one of us can be, or else an audience or reader gets into the details of life presented so as to acquaint ourselves with real life so as to draw out archetypal figures and morals beyond the humdrum, as when “Death of a Salesman” resonates as a kind of grand tragedy worthy of the Greek tragedians. One of the other puts out its opposite, the audience or reader necessarily interpreting one as the other in order to make sense of it. That is the complexity and irony required of literature so that it can be literature. Even trivial stories such as Batman do the same thing, superheroes made human, played with to make them ordinary, Bruce Wayne turned into the Caped Crusader because of a childhood trauma when his parents are killed by criminals and so ingenious in his mastery of techniques whereby he is triumphant even if only over an underworld full of distorted criminals rather than god-like ogres and devils. Watch how the dynamics of literature work.

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Actual Reasoning

People have a sense or some indication or belief in what we might call the pulse of history in that they try, inevitably, to outguess the future, whether that means who will win a Presidential election or whether the animals in the wild will come out and harass the cavemen during a dry season. This sense or practical understanding is described in metaphors because the pulse of history is not really a sine curve by which to follow a human heart but is, to use another metaphor, a way history will jump, and it is often described in literary terms, as when Marx said that history comes first as tragedy and then by farce and that we can suggest that Nixon was a tragic figure and that Trump is a farcical one, even if much more dangerous. These perceptions are not quite accurate, the second one only vaguely parallel to the other incident, but giving the idea of a theme and variation. My mother knew nothing of the theory of probability, but advised me that the card I needed would turn up in a rummy deck especially when the deck was getting depleted. Be patient, she warned. She was also a good poker player. But let us not consider the clear comparison between the mathematical rules of probability in contrast to intuition. Think of real life ways in which people try to grasp how things will turn out and see how those insights get formalized into scientific like procedures, the model of natural science overshadowing how it is that people actually do what seems reasonable. Here are three examples.

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Miracles

All miracles are violations of what ordinarily happens. Here are four conceptions of the idea of what gets violated. Each of them have successively created a more symbolic or metaphorical idea of miracle and so can be thought as markers in the evolution from supernatural religion to a religion which is only moral rather than factual. Looking at the meanings of miracles reveals the ways in which religion can sidestep or excuse its claims without abandoning a sense that miracles are somehow real.

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Re-release: Kahneman's Fallacies, "Thinking, Fast and Slow"

Daniel Kahneman, as well as being a winner of the Nobel Prize in economics, is one of the subjects, along with his longtime collaborator, Amos Tversky, of Michael Lewis’ latest book, “The Undoing Project”, and so his work has drawn even more attention as the way to see through biased behavior and show how irrational people are in the conduct of their everyday lives. I want to suggest that Kahneman is dead wrong on substance, that people are reasonable rather than overcome by bias, and his deeply mistaken supposition is the result of a method that boxes his subjects into corners so that they cannot but seem hopelessly irrational. This essay, re-released from my archives, is an attempt to bring down what has been offered up as an important icon of contemporary thinking about mental and social life.

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Original Good

The fundamental tenet and experience of Christianity is that people are all subject to original sin and therefore have to be released from that and the event is accomplished by God sending down His Son Jesus to suffer and therefore atone for all the sins of mankind. St. Paul, who developed that doctrine, may have done so as to explain how it was that a Messiah could have died when in Jewish tradition a Messiah had to live. So Peter found an excuse for Jesus to die: He was destined to redeem mankind from sin. But Jesus is logically secondary to the primary sense that mankind needs redemption from its failings, Christianity having an exquisite sense of misery, that people are unworthy and polluted. Jesus, in a way, is a deus ex machina: He is the one to rescue the settlers from the Indians, and He does that work whether He was a real Son of God, the incarnation of the Deity, as Paul thought, or if He is a symbolic and historical figure who shows the path to enlightenment so that people are no longer overwhelmed by their guilt and shame. Christianity prizes itself on making their people feel very deeply their blame before they are freed from it.

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Informed Consent Agreements

Lawyers develop documents whereby people contract to meet what are now their obligations. This seems a very fair arrangement in that people have written down what they have agreed to do, for a consideration, and that social life could not proceed if those undertakings, such as to pay a debt or offer a service, were not promised in writing. Contracts are as old as when contracts were made about whose grain would be sold in the future when the crops in Babylon were reaped. But this well appreciated practice of everyday social life that is best noticed and freshly appreciated through the lens of sociology rather than through the law because law may generate those documents but without exploring the social activities associated with documents other than that they become obligatory. As in most cases with social life, sociology trumps law by dealing with what actually transpires rather than the way things are supposed to happen. To wit, informed consent agreements are, in fac,t neither informed nor agreements, only the products sustained and operated by other social processes.

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The Social and the Transcendental

When I take my daily constitutional half a mile to a convenience store and back, I am not alone even though I don’t know the names or remember the faces of people I pass. They know who I am: an elderly man with a cane who is getting his exercise, and perhaps returning with a beverage. Nobody is without their roles,some important ones of which are on display. What you see is what I am whether or not I disclose what I think are my deep thoughts. The question here is whether I can ever escape from my roles, is there some relaxation of all those roles, like tinker, would be spy or ex-professor, that cocoon me, everyone exhibiting any number of spikes that, like the coronavirus, allow identities to hang onto our projections and our awards, or ‘beings” as a particular entity. Yes there are, and among them is exhibited in that nearly daily walk, because I get so enmeshed in the walk itself, that it travels in distance, that I forget what my roles are, to the extent that such is possible. Nobody totally leaves hold of their identities, unless in an existentialist fantasy, as in Camus’ “The Stranger” and, in that case, such moments are horrendous rather than liberating.

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Non-Sexy Dreams

Like most people, I suppose, I dream about stories and issues other than lust and ambition. As a sociologist, perhaps, I also dream about social situations and problems, sometimes quite amusing, that provide insights I would not have arrived at when awake or, when dreaming,come up with half baked solutions because my mind has not thought of a better one, either asleep or awake. I dreamed, for some reason I can't readily assign to newspaper accounts or to general knowledge, that Israeli expatriates are infiltrating non profit organizations in New York City so as to familiarize themselves with what Jewish Americans and other Americans are thinking so as to know how to respond to America. So they go to the Met or Carnegie Hall as well as synagogues and churches to take the pulse of New York culture. Is Israel threatened? Is New York about to turn against Israeli sentiment? I don’t think so in my awakened life and the tone of the dream story does not have the tone of animosity or fear. Maybe it just shows that I have a lingering identification with Israel and my dream is a better indication of that fact than my protestations to that effect when awake might indicate. To use an overworked word correctly, dreams tell me that my feelings about Israel are authentic rather than affected.

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The Ethics of Bi-Polar Roles

People engage in ethical transgressions and there are ethical ways to deal with the existence of such transgressions. People behave badly to one another all the time without being thought to have either abandoned their role or their humanity, on the one hand, or to have simply made a mistake, as happens when they apply the wrong postage to an envelope. Indeed, much of ethical life consists of people finding ways of forgiving or excusing one another's behavior while continuing a relationship, or using lapses in ethical behavior as reasons for modifying a relationship or even letting go of or breaking a relationship. People regularly tell stories to one another about why they lost friends, why people drift apart, how their bosses betrayed them. People also tell themselves or their psychologists or their lovers why past relationships foundered and what sense they make of that in constructing their present lives and relationships.

One important area of ethical life, therefore, is dealing with the consequences of ethical judgments. How does one ethically respond to the recognition or the accusation of ethical lapses by oneself or others? This question is usually applied only to the person who has lapsed from proper ethical conduct. Can that person be trusted again? Does a person caught in an ethical lapse feel guilty, apologize, make amends, commit suicide? But it also applies to how to relate to the ethical lapses of people with whom one is associated. There are ethical considerations that fall on those who deal with the lapsed, such as whether a person is obligated to forgive another. Can a coach refuse to play an athlete who had flubbed his last chance? Moreover, there are ethical considerations that a person who has failed at ethical life must take into account other than the way to overcome the stigma of having ethically lapsed. The person must learn how ethical lapses are noticed and how blame for them is placed. In short, ethical life is not only a matter of individual or collective responses to transgressions, but provides multiple structures through which can be understood the inevitable ethical transgressions that take place in social life. People can be over amorous in courtship or insufficiently diligent at work or meek on those occasions when they might assert their rights.

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Blemishes On The Soul

When I taught an undergraduate course on the sociology of everyday life, I would assign essays, lead discussions and even give lectures on such topics as friendship, love, strangers and casual acquaintanceships, as well as parties and other kinds of gatherings. My point was to show how the circumstances of these situations constrained the lives of people and would make the students aware that invisible social structures had an impact on their lives. I think that by and large I failed because students did not make the leap from psychology to sociology. They looked at the motives that led them to behave in a way and to identify the feelings or emotions they might feel in that situation. So strangers were understood as lonely and in need of solace and companionship when what I was getting at was Georg Simmel’s insight that a stranger was a person who was only very partially understood by other people with whom they narrowly engaged and so, paradoxically, became, like bartenders and psychotherapists, the people with whom someone might confide.

It is very strange that students could not engage with that subject matter in that, after all, they could engage with a discussion in a course on social policy even though they had not previously thought that there might be four or five plans to structure a national medical insurance plan, a topic of popular concern at the time, and even though the students had not before the course that there were ways to objectively compare and analyze alternative plans, social design a way of thinking about government rather than saying just yea or nay, ardently in favor of or having contempt for a policy just because their party or favorite candidate said so. I pointed out that in the 2000 Democratic primary campaign Kerry's catastrophic health insurance plan would cover anyone who had a road accident but insurance would not cover medical checkups and so cover big bills but at low cost while Dick Gephardt wanted the equivalent of Medicare for All, which was comprehensive but very expensive and no one seemed to care about a policy’s assumptions and implications and when Obamacare was adopted people got to like it only when the citizens got the benefits. Very curious that social policy was readily on the agenda, somehow legitimated, even if it was arcane, but everyday life was not a topic, an object of contemplation, even briefly, remained obscure, even though everyone understood what it was to have a friend or a stranger in their midst .Social life is very perplexing if you bother to consider the obvious social things around you.

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Daydreams and Reality

Fantasy or daydream is a kind or structure or story that is more primitive than are the kind of stories that are associated with Aristotle as having a beginning, middle and end, those that build suspense to a climax and then offer an emotional release or completion. Aristotle had in mind the sophisticated performances in drama, which are aimed at an audience who will get pleasure and meaning from having mimicked reality in their productions, requiring its audience to see how the performance is similar and different from reality, how gestures and words are like what real people say and do, and create a mood which is different from what one has felt and contemplated than what they had experienced. The audience, whatever their walks of life, only intermittently suspend their disbelief. The nature of the story is to go in and out of it so as to continually refract on the differences between reality and illusion.

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Clutter in Art and Reality

All around us is clutter, these objects right at hand because they are functional in that you may need any one of them to help move along the day, but items thought so insignificant unless they are misplaced that you forget how important they are and so we dismiss them as clutter, whether a person surrounded by clutter is the kind of person who organizes the mess or lets it find itself, a person knowing where to reach to find it in its disorganization, such as a book not catalogued, or a hand lotion on the bathroom sink rather than in a medicine chest. Some of the clutter places its historical provenance while others do not. Women had sachets because people smelled bad, but there are still perfumes and room deodorants. But paper clips seem to me to have been of a time in that people needed to clip together single sheets of paper when those could be separated or mislaid, while today you just print off another copy of numerous pages from your computer and the printer staples the copies. Think of all these objects as a museum that offers time and place and general functions and so an entry into life, akin to the artists that make collages of objects atop one another so as to provide the mood of a person or a place. I have in mind Picasso and Braque and let us learn something from them before turning to the clutter of real life.

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Comfort and Irony

Consider the related emotions of pleasure and satisfaction to begin a way to summarily dismiss the Utilitarian and the Kantian theories of morality. In short, the idea of comfort replaces the idea of pleasure and the idea of irony replaces the idea of obligation. Moral philosophy, after all, is a partial and recondite way of dealing with what can be described as the way emotions work. A description observes what just is, and is thereby shorn of moral values about what should be done, and so can be dealt with by what is either called the sociology of everyday life or the sociology of emotions. Reducing morality into descriptions rather than proscriptions was the point of Spinoza’s “Ethics”, nothing left of ethics except descriptions.

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